


Metal Gear Riding Revengeance

by BraveInvisibleWorld



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night (Visual Novel), Fate/stay night - All Media Types, Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Drug Use, Gen, Kirei and Cu are dead, Portrait edits inside, Shinji Matou is dead party
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22286296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BraveInvisibleWorld/pseuds/BraveInvisibleWorld
Summary: The secret fourth house arrives in Garreg Mach to cause chaos... What do you mean they're not Jaguars?
Kudos: 3





	Metal Gear Riding Revengeance

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read Metal Gear Riding, I recommend doing so because this fic is its sequel!
> 
> Note: This was written before the whole Ashen Wolves thing, but I guess I can have this as a side project while I work on my actual 3H fanfic.

It was the start of the new school year in Garreg Mach! There were three houses: the Black Eagle Chads, the Blue Happy Boys, and the Golden Glue Guzzlers. However, this time there was a new house that emerged from a strange land called Fuyuki. This fourth house was called the Orange Jaguars. The details on how this group formed and arrived in Fodlan were fuzzy, to say the least. One teacher claimed that they were escaping the authorities from their own country, so Rhea decided to let them live in the monastery as long as they carried out research into their unique form of magecraft. And in this new house were some very peculiar people...

This was Shirou, the leader of the Orange Jaguars. His special talent was archery, but he had a crippling weakness in reason. His ideals of justice were very flawed, but it’s ok because he frequently ran into oncoming traffic to respect women as part of a morning routine. The Crest of Swords gives him a chance to not expend weapon durability when using a combat art.

Second in command was Rin Tohsaka, who excelled in reason. She was bossy and wanted to flex on people as much as possible by throwing her jewels everywhere. She very much enjoyed wrestling and was quite popular among the girls. Her Crest of Elements allowed her to utilize all elemental magic and gave a boost in attack whenever she casted spells.

This was Saber, a student with a mysterious past who seemed to be familiar with Fodlan’s general setting. Saber was the one who excelled best at swords (go figure) but she was also good with a lance. She possessed a talent for horseback riding, but she wasn’t a very engaged student and just wanted to eat out the entire cafeteria and the pond. She gets along very well with Shirou and sometimes hung out with Medusa.

Next was Sakura Matou, who was a happy girl with a talent for Wii Golf and possessed the Crest of Worms. Recently, her brother, Crinji Matou, died! He was a shithead, so nobody cared. However, murder by magical proxy was still illegal, so she had to move into a new country in order to escape the law. She was very close to her friend, Medusa. 

This was Medusa, who excelled at riding and axes. She may or may not have killed Sakura’s brother, which was totally fine but unfortunately illegal. She was known in Fuyuki as the infamous Fortnite dancer, Thanos, and had a reputation of standing out like a sore thumb because of her height. She was affectionately nicknamed “Rider” by Sakura for reasons unknown.

Illya was also there with her sidekick, Hercules. You might have thought that her white hair was a sign of human experimentation and Crest manipulation, but you are wrong. She was just born like that. She prefers to fight on the backlines while her friend, Berserker, does most of the grunt work. She possesses no known Crest.

This was Berserker, the biggest student in the group. He didn’t talk very much, but when he did, he was very loud and passionate about one thing: fighting. But deep down, he also had a heart of gold and cherished his friendship with Illya, even though he cannot really understand her. Or anyone really. He specialized in all weapon types and was a natural fit for an armored class.

Lastly in the student roster was Issei, the resident nerd who excelled in faith and nothing else. He wasn’t very strong, but he was a very good student that cared about his classmates, especially Shirou. He frequently fought with Rin whenever it came to her bossy habits getting out of hand.

Starting with the main instructor was a perky woman named Taiga, whose specialty was swords, lances, and brawling, but her method of hand to hand combat was very feral. She was the unchallenged champion of Wii Sports Resort in the bowling and sword fighting categories.

The second weapon instructor was a man named Archer, who trained exclusively in swords and bows. He disliked Shirou and refused to teach him any combat techniques. He loved to cook and was responsible for around 90% of the house’s impulse control whenever junk food was involved. Basically without him, the entire group would have collapsed in on themselves.

Two school teachers were Medea, who specialized in dark magic, and her husband, Kuzuki, who specialized in brawling and faith, though many say he wasn’t very devout. I ran out of pictures to edit at this point, so you will have to imagine it yourself.

Lastly, there was the swordsman Kojiro. No one knew if he was a student or an instructor. He never showed up to class, but he occasionally talked to Medea. He was often found at the marketplace with the Gatekeeper.

Together, these foreigners would start the strangest school year to ever occur in the halls of Garreg Mach.

***

On the very first day, the house leaders met together. “Let’s all get along,” Shirou said as he introduced himself to the other three. He was a little nervous, that came with being a foreign exchange student, but he was more wary of the fact that he was from an entirely different world and that would certainly raise some eyebrows.

“No problem, Shirou. Let’s throw a big feast together! I heard that you’re a mean cook,” Claude said as he patted the red-haired boy on the back.

“Yes, let’s all get along.” Edelgard said as she shook Shirou’s hand. She almost crushed his fingers in her grip. Leaning in close to his face, she whispered, “I do not know who you are, but I will crush you if you get in my way.”

“O-Okay,” Shirou squeaked. 

Dimitri stepped forward to greet the young man. “It’s a pleasure to get to know you.” This time, Shirou’s hand was accidentally crushed by Dimitri’s grip. “OH GODDESS, I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO THAT!”

“It’s alright!” Shirou tried to remain calm, but his reply came out in a shriek. “I’ll just. Go to the nurse.” And then he passed out.

“Edelgard, you carry him,” Professor Byleth ordered.

She sighed, “Yes, Professor.” Then she picked Shirou up by the ankles and dragged him across the ground.

Without their house leader to corral them for next few days, the Orange Jaguars went through an uproar.

***

It was shortly after when Shirou got sent to Manuela’s office when Rin had declared herself temporary leader. Naturally, people objected.

“You can’t just declare yourself the leader! It’s been FIVE MINUTES since Shirou went to the infirmary!” Issei yelled.

“OK, clown! Order me around when you get good kush like this!” She held up the good (questionable) kush.

“YOU CAN’T JUST HAVE THAT OUT! YOU’RE GOING TO GET US SUSPENDED!”

Shamir walked by and said, “No, that’s allowed.” She took another hit off of her bong and went to get some puss at 11 AM. Rin and Issei stared at the Knight of Seiros in disbelief.

“Well, I'm the leader now,” Rin declared again.

“YOU ARE NOT!”

This went on for the next seven hours.

Meanwhile, Saber and Medusa went to scope out the dining hall, and by “Saber and Medusa,” I meant “Medusa went to do something productive while Saber ran the monastery into a food shortage.”

Eyeing the menu, Medusa asked the chef, “Are there any raw chicken nuggets in your recipes?”

“What? No, what even is a ‘chicken nugget?’” The chef’s face scrunched up. “That sounds like a health issue waiting to happen.” Behind the chef was a strange little girl with pigtails that was gobbling on chicken nuggies. It was not Sothis; it was Medusa’s older sister, Euryale. She choked suddenly as a nugget went too fast into her mouth.

“Oh, perhaps I was mistaken,” Medusa said as she took a plate of food back to her table, where Saber was having a rib-eating contest with Raphael. As Euryale suffocated in the background, Medusa tried to scan for the biggest threat in the school. And there he was, the worst person possible interacting with Sakura: Sylvain.

“Hey there, girl, I know that you’re new and all, but I was thinking we could chat over some snacks,” Sylvain said. “I’d be very interested to know about your culture, since you’re new around Fódlan.”

“O-Oh, I’m just going to check out my dorm,” Sakura nervously said as she tried to edge around the man.

“What’s the rush? We’re in the dining hall; let’s get you something to eat. I could see that you’re jittery. It’s no good to be on an empty stomach.”

“I’m not hungry at all.” This time, Sakura tried to slip past him. She was far too stressed out from the trip to Garreg Mach after escaping from court to even be thinking about food. “Please, I just want to be left alone.”

He put a hand on her shoulder. “Are you nervous to be here? Don’t worry about it. A lot of people here have Crests just like you—”

“Please! Just let me be!” She smacked his arm away.

“Well, alright then. But you should take a break and make some friends. Just relax, it’s only the first day,” the redhead said with a smile.

“Uh, bye!” Sakura said as she ran off in the direction of the dormitory. 

“She doesn’t like her Crest? That’s strange, the other girl in that house seemed to be proud of hers…” Sylvain could feel eyes trained on him. In fact, he felt a cold spot on the back of his neck as he turned to see Medusa glaring at him. She looked _pissed_.

_She looks as scary as hell!_ He quickly took his leave and decided to drop by Sakura later.

But little did he know, that was the biggest mistake of his life.


End file.
